Three Things Every Elder Should Know About Their Children's Ministry Leaders
TEASER
If you're a church elder, it means that you've felt a call by God to help lead your church through whatever comes its way during your term, it means you're committed to leading your church spiritually, and you're likely passionate about supporting staff and other lay leaders. And if you're a church elder, I'd like to say right now on behalf of church staff and members everywhere - thank you.
In most churches, regardless of theology or denomination, Elders have a lot in common. They've usually been asked to serve by someone who believes they would do a good job.
Most Elders have self-identified as someone who believes that giving their time and talents to their local church something they're called to do. Most elders bring various skills and knowledge from their workplaces to create a well-rounded team. And most elders enjoy seeing people get to know Jesus and watching their church grow.
And among many other things, there's one more thing that most elders have in common.
Most elders haven't been on staff at a church before.
And this is something that we would expect. Typically elders are church members who started attending their church while working somewhere else, not because they started working for the church.
But sometimes this causes a disconnect between Elders Teams and Staff Teams, and here's why:
There are many unique work environments, but none of them are quite like working in a church.
Now, I haven't worked in every industry, but, you know, I've spent some time here and there.
My first jobs growing up in Niagara Falls, Ontario, were in the tourism district. I've done my fair share of retail jobs at places like Walmart, Staples and Winners. I've worked at a Golf Course, A Gas Station, Summer Camps, Group Homes, the YMCA – and for eight great years, Lauren and I owned and operated a Landscaping company.
I've had bosses; I've been the boss.
I've had critics and been a critic.
I've had jobs where I leave work at work, and I've had jobs where I'm on call 27/7. But I can tell you this.
None of those workplaces are like working in a church.
Working at a church is a unique mix of worldview, employment and lifestyle that is hard to describe unless you've done it.
And because we at Church Helper know that most elders haven't worked in a church before, we would like to pull back the curtain just a little and help elders understand and empathize with their staff. We know that there are some things elders just don't think about, not because they aren't thoughtful, but because Ministry is so different than any other workplace. So we're going to spend a bit of time helping you Get To Know Your Staff.
This week, we're starting with Children's Ministry Staff.
So, if you're a staff member or an elder who would like to share a more common language, and work together as a more tightly knit team, then stick around because the Church Helper Podcast starts right now.
INTRO
Hey there, and welcome to another edition of the Church Helper Podcast. Our mission here at church helper is to help churches make every decision on purpose.
My name is Mike, and I'm excited to help church staffs and elders teams get on the same page today.
And this week is the first in our four-week series "getting to know your staff," where we take some time to dive into the lives and job descriptions of those who work at a church to help elders better understand how they think, why they make decisions, and where they need the most help.
If you're a church staff member, now is the time to connect an elder with this content and sign up for our weekly emails because this will help your relationship immensely.
And if you're an elder, make sure you forward this to the rest of your team, so you're all speaking the same language. And just so we're all speaking the same language, every church calls this role something different. It could be a Children's Ministry Leader, Pastor, Director or Co-Ordinator. For our purposes today, we're going to use the word "leader."
Alright, enough preamble, let's get into it.
The Three Things Every Elder Should Know About Children's Ministry Leader
IT'S A HUGE JOB
Often when people think of Children's Ministry Leaders, they think of their kids Sunday School teacher or the person who comes to the front to hand out Bibles, or the enthusiastic leader who does a mid-service object lesson. But for every minute Children's Ministry Leaders spend in front of a crowd, they spend hours prepping for it. Here are just a few things that your Children's Ministry Leader needs to think about every single, week.
Lesson planning
Ok, we'll get the obvious one out of the way first. Each week your Children's Ministry Director needs to figure out what the kids are going to learn. What. What's what? Oh, you think that's what curriculum is for, right! I get that. Many people think all you need to do these days is to open up that shiny PDF or download a short video and put it on the screen, and boom, that job is done.
Well, let me tell you a secret about curriculum – it's never, ever that easy. One of the biggest misconceptions about curriculum is that it's ready to go right out of the box. I've worked with lots of different kids' min curriculums, and all of them need at least a little bit of adjusting based on the size of your Ministry, the ages of your kids, and who's teaching the lesson that week.
One Children's Ministry Leader reached out to us and said this about others' perception of curriculum:
"(People think that) any lesson is taken straight from the curriculum; I tend to rewrite lessons to cater to our kid's ages and how they learn best (verbally, physically, etc.)."
Now, curriculum is indeed a helpful resource that most Children's Ministry Leaders wouldn't want to go without, but it's far from plug and play. Most Leaders spend a lot of time each week getting ready for a 10 minute Bible lesson that could be derailed by that one kid shouting, "Eeewww, Jamie FARTED." It's a fun part of the job, but it takes a lot of work.
Organizing volunteers
You ask any Children's Ministry Leader, and we asked a whole bunch over the past couple of months; they'll tell you one of their biggest struggles is volunteers. Finding them is tough enough, but they need to be trained and well equipped to do their task, and they usually have varying talents, schedules and availability.
Here's what one Children's Ministry Leader said when asked about volunteers:
"We rely on them so much. It takes an army to staff the rooms!! Personalities, gifting (or not, so trouble placing willing volunteers), preparedness, etc., for a ton of people every week. It's exhausting."
Children's Ministry just can't run without volunteers, and often they're some of the kindest and wonderful people in the church. But that kindness can lead to a challenge that every Children's Ministry Leader faces. They also never want to hurt your feelings.
And because of that, they almost always cancel at the last minute. In all the years Lauren worked in kids ministry, I can count on one hand the times when we didn't get a Saturday evening email that started with "Hey, I'm so sorry this is coming at the last minute.." that left her scrambling to massage back up leaders while finishing dinner. Talk to your Children's Ministry leader; I guarantee this happens to them.
Don’t Miss This.
Now, there's another hurdle I need to tell about that most Children's Ministry Leaders face. Usually, people who are good with kids are also really good at something else. Something that might be looked at as a more "skilled" or "needed" position. For example, if you have a parent that would be an awesome kids ministry volunteer but they're a great worship leader, then Children's Ministry Leaders are often on the outside looking in. It's weird to talk about "fighting" for a volunteer, but honestly, there isn't another ministry in the church that loses more volunteers this way.
Balancing Weekly and Seasonal Events
There's a phrase that ministry leaders sometimes use to describe their week. The phrase is "Sunday's always coming." It means that no matter what else is on that week, you've always got to be ready in another six days. But there are lots of other things that are coming for Children's Ministry Leaders too.
Christmas Programs or Vacation Bible Schools are just a couple of seasonal events that Children's Ministry Leaders always have on their minds. And the funny thing about them is they always need to be planned in the off-season. Have you ever tried to get into the full-on Christmas Spirit in July? I'd almost guarantee that your Children's Ministry Leader has.
Buying Supplies
Here's a question. How many crayons do you need for every kid to colour with a red one at the same time? The answer is, always one more than you have.
Most Children's Ministry Leaders have the local Dollar Stores maps out in their head, including which ones have the best deals on various art materials and stationery. But no matter how much planning you do, there's always something that comes up last minute.
One week we had a way bigger turnout than we expected, and while our 10 am church service was beginning their opening song, we were racing across the street to buy 30 more containers of Playdoh. Have you ever done that? I'll guess not, because you have a regular job.
It all worked out, and we had fun, but it was just another day in Kids Ministry.
Communicating with Parents
The thing about kids is that they're never going to remember to tell parents anything, so every Children's Ministry Leader needs to have a good communication strategy. Usually, this includes Email, Posters, Handouts, Newsletter Articles, Verbal Announcements, annual reports, and social media use. What does all this mean?
It means, most Children's Ministry Leaders need to be copywriters, graphic designers and print shops. And, communicating with today's parents happens almost exclusively in a digital world, meaning Children's Ministry Leaders are also fielding emails and text messages throughout their week about things that are already on the website, the weekly email and the posters in the hall.
Managing Spaces
Hey, here's a fun one. Did you know that many Children's Ministry Leaders have a touch of interior designer in them? They almost have to. They're often managing multiple room setups and configurations for different ages and stages while also trying to make sure the rooms are safe, look bright and welcoming, and are laid out in an engaging and non-distracting way. It's quite the balance and a lot of work, but it's a lot of fun.
Budgeting
Children's Ministry Leaders need to figure out how much it's going to cost to run their Ministry for the year – and sometimes that's hard because they never know what they might run out of or what's going to break. Something we hear, is that it's often difficult to justify spending to those who aren't always familiar with their Ministry. It's not unusual for a Children's Ministry Leader to field a question like, "I see where you've budgeted for 50 pool noodles in February…is that something you really need?" Budgeting is a fun way to look ahead to the following year, but it takes a lot of time and a lot of planning ahead.
The Best of the Rest
Now, I could keep going with more details, but I'll just say this. In addition to everything I've already mentioned, most Children's Ministry Leaders are also in charge of: Overseeing Safety Training and Protocols, knowing what kids have allergies or other specific needs, what happens when a kid gets hurt or sick, what happens when there's a fire or intruder, handling family pastoral care needs, knowing if or when to call Family Services, and how to deal with a code brown. Never heard of a code brown – well, I'll hope for your sake it stays that way.
Here's the point. It's an enormous job – one that takes a vast skill set, a ton of creativity and an abundance of patients. It also requires something else... and that's thing number two.
2. THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL IN CHILDRENS MINISTRY IS ADMINISTRATION
Now, this might sound odd because most of the time, when you think about a Children's Ministry Leader, you think of someone good with kids. And that's true; you do need someone who understands how kids think and how they learn – after all, you're trying to teach them something really important.
But, if you have a Children's Ministry Leader who doesn't have excellent organization and administration skills, and I mean really good, then the whole Ministry will suffer from the trickle-down.
Not only is everything on the list of tasks I rattled off a minute ago stuff that every Children's Ministry Leader needs to do, but they're also all super dependant on one another. There's very little room for error on a Sunday morning or a mid-week program.
One tantrum, one communication breakdown with a parent, or one volunteer not knowing that they're ON this week can be the difference between a smooth Sunday morning and a complete gong show.
This means that when supporting your Children's Ministry Leader, Administration is one of the biggest places they could likely use your help or a little more space in their budget. They have a never-ending list of things that need to be done and prioritized, and they've got them all down in a calendar in the order of "most urgent" to "almost urgent."
So, then next time you're in a meeting with your Children's Ministry Leader
and she or he hasn't got to something yet, or they're hopping from one thought to the next – it might not be because they don't know it's on the list, it's just because they haven't gotten there yet.
3. CHILDREN'S MINISTRY LEADERS WANT TO BE SPIRITUAL INFLUENCERS, NOT BABYSITTERS.
To be totally honest, this isn't something that I saw coming, but it showed up in the majority of responses we heard from Children's Ministry Leaders. It turns out a lot of them feel like babysitters.
Look at these quotes.
This Family Ministry Pastor said:
"Kids ministry is not just babysitting. 80% - 90% of people who will become Christians will do so before age 14, so kids ministry (should be) set up to reach the greatest mission field in our culture with the gospel.
Another leader said:
"My job is to lead children and families in their discipleship journey, not provide and organize child care."
Another said,
"This is a ministry and not just childcare. We are creating the foundation for lifelong relationships with Christ. We are intentional about the lesson kids learn, the activities they do, and the people they get to interact with."
And finally, one leader said this when talking about what her elders think of her job: "
They sometimes think my job is to occupy the kids (babysit) or find something for them to do during an event or worship experience. We are part of the Ministry of the church, not childcare. They are not the future of the church, they ARE the church."
These are just a handful of the responses that we received, but I assure you there are many more. Maybe this is something you've never considered, and it wasn't at the forefront of my mind either, but now that it's there, it's something not to forget. The people leading your Children's Ministry want to teach kids about Jesus, and they want parents to know that, and they want elders to know that. Spiritual development in kids is so important. As elders, it's so essential that your Children's Ministry Leaders know that you value the spiritual growth of the kids in your church.
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO AS AN ELDER? WHAT STEPS CAN YOU TAKE?
First, you've already taken a step. Today you took some intentional time to sit down and learn about your Children's Ministry Leader – and that's huge! So thanks so much for doing that
Second, you can use some of this content today and start a dialogue with the people who do Children's Ministry at your church. Show them this content and ask, "does any of this strike a chord" or "is there something we can do a better job of helping you with?"
Third – Come ready to do something. If you're going to start a conversation with your Children's Ministry Leader about how to help, please don't let the conversation end with "well, we'll be thinking about you." Try to come in with a way to help; even it's small. Maybe that's a little more time for them to work, or perhaps it's offering to help them with a couple of things they just need to get off their plate.
Finally – make sure they feel appreciated. It doesn't need to be a grand gesture all the time, but something should happen often. A short note or a card with a coffee's worth of Starbucks goes a long way for ministry staff. And this is easy to do. If. You've got six elders, then just start by having each one write a note and give it to your Children's Ministry Leader every couple of months. You could all write them together in the same meeting and then just stagger the release. However you do it, make sure they feel loved and appreciated because that's the fuel that keeps them going week after week.
REACH OUT!
Thanks again for joining us today on the Church Helper Podcast. If there's someone in your life you think should see this content, but they're not a Podcaster or a Youtuber, we've got you covered. Head over to our website, churchhelper.ca/podcast, for a printable transcript of today's episode.
Check out some earlier episodes on Mission Drift and Identifying Methods, and always feel free to reach out to us with any questions you might have. We love every chance we get to help churches make every decision on purpose.
I'll talk to you again real soon!
